My story – “Finding my own worth within” – Brett

Posted by brett – October 21, 2011

Hi friends,

The past few months, I’ve been on a personal journey where I have felt connected to the underlying reason why I started this company. It has been a time of growth and one where I’ve peered inwardly to find my worth.

Growing up, I was always the child who would work extra hard on that paper or project and shoot to get an ‘A’.  If I performed well that meant I was important and valuable.

This summer, I was on the road selling to stores on the west coast, an experience that proved to be full of learning and growth.  Through all the phone calls and visits to boutique stores I found my self-worth in jeopardy because for every store owner that loved the meaning behind TMOOH there were ten stores that thought otherwise.  All of the rejection, however, left me feeling unimportance and worthless through the process.  To compare life to academia, it felt like I was getting a grade of a ‘D’ or ‘F’ in the real wold.  I reached a point while in San Francisco where I broke down and could no longer continue on because I believed that all of the “no’s” meant that I was a failure.  I know this was an entirely unhealthy form of thought but alas, it was my own.

The irony through the whole experience was that I was selling TMOOH as a brand where people find their worth within.  I would recite the quote to buyers by Elisabeth Kübler Ross who says, “People are like stained glass windows, they sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in true beauty can be revealed only if there is a light from within.” This life lesson couldn’t have come at a more opportune time because it reinforced my personal mission with the company and helped me feel important for reasons other than my performance.

To me, TMOOH is a platform for people to come together and share their life journey with others, instill hope in the lives of others, and reinforce that our beauty and worth in this world begins inwardly.  A young woman told me recently that for the first time ever, she looked into a mirror and actually believed it when she told herself she was beautiful. Somehow TMOOH had a part in her discovery of her beauty. There is power in those words. My journey to discover my infinite worth within has been sparked by some unique learning experiences coupled with the inspirational words of people in the TMOOH community. Thank you to all who have helped me see the source of my true worth.

From Within,
Brett

Lesli’s Story – “Mommy, we’re beautiful no matter what we wear!”

Posted by brett – September 21, 2011

“Mommy, we’re beautiful no matter what we wear!”
“We all look different, Mommy!”

These are two sentences that are music to my ears as they come out of the mouths of my little girls, Brin, 5, and Teagan, 4.

I have been struggling with my weight and my body image my entire life. I have always had weight to lose, sometimes 40 lbs, more often, 60 lbs, and at one time, 100lbs.  I have numerous little snipits of memories that make me cringe.  Being weighed in front of my class in kindergarten, having my doctor tell me, at age seven, that I would be so pretty if I just lost some weight, crying as I flipped through the pages of plus-sized clothes in the clothing catalog-secretly turning to the “normal” sized clothes and imagining what I would choose if were “normal,” crying as I had to go up another size, embarrassed as I went to the warehouse store to buy my wedding dress because they had my size, full of shame when the doctor’s office scale would only accommodate me for another 2 pounds during my pregnancy, and horrified as I was wheeled out in the double-wide wheelchair after the birth of my second daughter.

My entire life, my wonderful mother would plead with me, “Lesli, people don’t see you like that!” as she watched me standing in front of the mirror berating myself. My husband of ten years, has been with me since I was eighteen years old. He can’t tell me enough how beautiful I am.  But I would only listen to the awful thoughts running through my head.

After Teagan was born, I lost 95 lbs. I felt fantastic, but never “done” because I didn’t hit that 100lb mark. So, for two years, instead of looking at my healthy achievement, I beat myself up for having “10 more pounds to lose.”
Life and stress got in the way, and I gained back 60 of those pounds. And so we begin again. This time, however, with two little pairs of perfect eyes watching my every move, I don’t allow myself to to talk negatively about my achievements or my body. To my amazement, without this negative self-talk, I’m slowly beginning to see how beautiful I am, regardless of what I see in the mirror.

With two entirely differently shaped daughters, I realize how important it is to emphasize healthy eating for a healthy body on the inside, not only for a beautiful body on the outside.  I keep my daughters active because it’s the healthy thing to do, not because it keeps them in, or out of, a certain size. They are told that what they do, their achievements, are what make them beautiful. My daughters are healthy and beautiful, and they know it.

It is my new mission in life. It is not about me anymore.  It’s about teaching my children – teaching all children, about loving themselves.
I would absolutely love to be a part of The Monument of Our Hearts.  I can be a speaker, I can be a teacher, I can sew tags on shirts!! Use me – because your mission is now my mission!
Love,
Lesli

Laura’s Story – “Whenever my passport is stamped, I’ll think of her.”

Posted by brett – November 18, 2010

I met Laura when I was a freshman in college. I was a student worker and her dad worked in the office I assisted. She walked in the office with a glowing smile, spiky blonde hair and a bounce in her step. However, the one thing I couldn’t help but notice was her size. She was small—very small.

The first time we were introduced, she leaned in for a hug. Everyone loves a good hug and it is one I will always remember. She had her dad’s smile. After this meeting, I looked forward to Laura visiting the office. We talked about travel, which we both had a passion for and the things we wanted to do.

I knew Laura was sick. Her dad, one of my mentors, talked to me about the struggles she was facing and how serious the situation had become. A seasoned athlete in high school, her workouts soon took the place of eating. At her worst she weighed 58 pounds, compared to her normal weight of 95 pounds.

There were times when it would seem things were getting better. She would bound in the office to see her dad. His jolly laugh boomed from down the hall as they talked. Then there were times when I wouldn’t see her. It was a constant worry for a lot of people, especially her family. I worried about them all, short in stature but big in heart.

Things changed when Laura became engaged. She was ecstatic, as were her loved ones. He grin was ever present as she talked about her wedding and the exciting move to Paris, France where her fiancé was lived.

Her wedding day came. It was wonderful, performed in both English and French. I sat among friends as I pushed positive and hopeful energy her way. We all wanted her to be happy. The reception was a blast. We danced to English songs, we danced to French songs, we danced to everything. It was such a memorable evening and one that I will always be honored to have been a part of. Before the close of the evening, I was able to get this quick photo with Laura after she had changed out of her wedding gown. This was the last time I would ever see her.

On Saturday, May 2, 2009, Laura passed away in Paris France. She was 31. Her 13-year battle with anorexia nervosa had ended. When I learned the news, my heart sank. Tears filled my eyes as I thought about her mother and father and the family she left behind. I thought about all the places she wanted to visit and the passport that would no longer be stamped.

I began to evaluate my own body image. I’ve always been on the “husky” side as my grandmother calls it. I’ve tried fad diets, but have always gained the weight back. Laura’s battle made me consider the reasons for my ambitions of weight loss. It made me look in the mirror and consider my reflection. What I saw was a person that was attempting to sculpt their body to please others. On that day, I realized I was doing everything for the wrong reasons. If I wanted to lose weight I needed to do it for myself.

I think about Laura often, her smile mostly. It’s a pleasant memory that I pull from time to time. I would like to think I’m on a positive path towards a healthy lifestyle. These things take time. I know that dreaming of the physique on a magazine cover is unrealistic. If Laura has taught me anything it is to be grateful for the time you have and to grasp life by the horns and never let go. I hope she knows how beautiful she was, inside and out.

An excerpt from the poem, “The Summer Day” by Mary Oliver reads:

Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

Today I promise, I’m trying to live my one wild and precious life with a whole heart and a smile, just as Laura would have wanted me to and whenever my passport is stamped, I’ll think of her.

By Ryan Murray

http://ryconic.blogspot.com


Elise’s story, “No matter what you do, people are going to talk”

Posted by TMOOH – April 21, 2010

I was over 300 lbs at one time, it was horrible, I had to deal with people commenting on it all the time, I was fat, I was a whale, I pretty much have heard it all.

And then i decided enough was enough, I wanted to lose weight, not because I was sick of looking big, but I was sick of being tired, not having any energy and getting sick all the time.

So i changed my diet, and I worked out a couple hours a day, mostly walking, then running, and I do weights twice a week. I swim, I cycle, I hike, I have a very active lifestyle now.

This has caused me to lose an excessive amount of weight, and even though to me it feels like it took me forever to lose it all, I guess to some people it feels like it took no time at all.

So, now I have to battle rumors that I am anorexic, I apparently don’t eat even though I am consuming a healthy amount of calories, which for my size, is quite good. I’m a tiny person, only 5’1, and I maintain my body with a very good fitness regime.

I recently ripped up my ACL (it was stupid really, I was jogging and i stepped on a piece of loose pavement, and it caused some strain.) and the new rumors are that I’m over doing it in the gym.

I have realized now that no matter what size you are, no matter what your lifestyle is, people are going to judge. I am actually facing more criticism now that I’m smaller, than I did when I was large. When I was a size 22, I had people whispering behind my back and the odd person would say “fatty” to my face, but I find that people are more likely to say things to your face when you’re smaller, as if its okay.

The point is, negativity towards anyone’s body is just uncool, we are all shapes and sizes and I just hope that everyone realizes what I have, and that is that you can take care of yourself, you can be what society and the media says you should be, and still take heat for it.  For every one person that supports you in what you do, there are 3 people standing behind that one just waiting to tear you down.

-Elise

Kelsey’s Story, “I thought losing weight would solve all my problems”

Posted by TMOOH – March 23, 2010


Hi Guys,

I have always struggled with my weight. I would look around me and see people who were stick thin and feel extremely self-conscious and horrible about myself about having a little meat on my bones. I was always known as the “girl with the really pretty face” throughout middle school and junior high.

I attended an all-girls high school for the first year of my high school career. I felt more comfortable and didn’t really care what people thought about me. I stopped being self-conscious about my weight and ate what I want. I gained about 15 lbs and went into a deep depression. A few months later, I had to transfer to my local public high school because of financial reasons. That summer I decided I would stop eating and lose the weight I’ve always desperately wanted to. I went into crazy mode. I only ate two apples a day and worked out constantly. I ended up losing 35 pounds over the summer. I thought losing that weight would solve all my problems, but it didn’t. I didn’t realize that the problem was myself. It was never my weight. It was something inside of me. I continued looking for approval from other people. Other people told me how great I looked, but I would still come home every day and look at myself in disgust. I hated myself.

This past year is when I have really started to accept myself as who I am and love myself. Your website and message has really helped as well. I think people look at models and celebrities and go “Well I HAVE to look like that to be happy”, when real happiness comes from in yourself. I now eat healthy and work out at a manageable level. If I could spread any sort of message to people, teenage girls especially is that don’t think you have to change yourself to be happy. Embrace yourself. Love yourself. Everyone is beautiful and these past few years have completely changed me. I want to you thank you guys for started your website and clothing line and creating a lifeline for myself and other people struggling with their confidence and self-esteem. You have no idea how much you have helped me.

-Kelsey

Message from TMOOH: You are all storytellers and your stories are powerful. Sharing what’s on your heart and mind whether it’s a tale of triumph, struggle, or hope, can impact others in unimaginable ways. If you feel compelled to share your story, we’d love to hear from you, send us your story to: story@tmooh.com. Thanks to you all for reading and for continuing the conversation.

Herschel’s story, beautiful imperfections

Posted by TMOOH – March 9, 2010

BeautifulImperfections

Hello Friends,

You and I have, at some point, grumbled incessantly about stuff like these – it could have happened last month, last week, or even just five minutes ago! We never quite forgave ourselves for those flaws in our physical structure called imperfections.  Most of us strive to become the person of what fashion magazines, movies, or pop culture in general proclaim as the “ideal physique of man”. The ideal meant good looks, prominence of height, well-toned bodies, and the like. Lacking in one or more of these qualities suggests that you aren’t qualified to be with the elite who dominate the world because ‘the world’ considers them elegant and glamorous – simply, they are ‘perfect’. So we do what we can to prove them wrong. It’s easy to see because it’s everywhere around us. Ladies copy the latest fashion trend, while men attempt to look and act what they think is the ‘in’ thing. And there’s always the beauty products and modern technology to work everything else out. No, nothing wrong with doing these – every person has the right to do so. The question is, “For what real purpose is it about?” Has society been so judgmental, so vainglorious that it casts its eyes down to anyone who doesn’t meet their expectations? Do we have to punish ourselves – by not valuing time, money, and self-worth – for something only temporary?

Imperfection is normal. No one escapes it – not even the most well-bred. We are only human. Or in a more philosophical sense, perhaps we were meant to be created this way, to counterbalance what we have and what we don’t have.

When you closely look at it, imperfection is not such a big deal. It’s what’s in you that truly counts. Does perfection even exist? Most of the greatest people that ever lived were recognized for their remarkable achievements, not for how they look like. And besides, if all in this world were perfect, nothing will be regarded with appreciation anymore. A flaw actually makes an object look more appealing and precious, because you see the finer features beneath.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The standard of beauty is left to the individual, there is no absolute criterion. We must not let the media or fashion magazines or anyone else dictate to us how we must look like or what we must become; the matter is in our hands. Instead of being insecure about our flaws, we must focus on our strengths and capabilities. Show the world what we’ve got. We must improve, not undermine ourselves.

Also remember that external beauty will eventually fade away. Looks, fame, fortune – they’re not the answer to everything, and neither are they the key to happiness and security. What constantly remains is the beauty within. Kindness is far better than attractiveness. Sure, a face can launch a thousand ships, but a heart can touch the whole world. Take time to notice things that seem mediocre – warmness, joy, simplicity. It is in there that real beauty lies.

In the words of George Orwell: “The essence of being human is one that does not seek perfection.”

Sincerely,
Herschel

Message from us here at TMOOH: You are all storytellers and your stories are powerful. Sharing what’s on your heart and mind whether it’s a tale of triumph, struggle, or hope, can impact others in unimaginable ways. If you feel compelled to share your story, we’d love to hear from you, send us your story to: story@tmooh.com. Thanks to you all for reading and for continuing the conversation.

Megan’s story, I’m not alone

Posted by courtney – February 10, 2010

Hi TMOOH,

This company is a great way to bring awareness to body image.
Having dealt with my share of body image issues, this was a great way to feel like I am not alone.  I am in high school now and have been dealing with eating disorders for around five years now. Having an older sister, I always looked to her to be my role model.  Therefore when she got skinnier I would feel the same need to drop weight.

I always felt out of place in a town that focused so much on body image.  I felt like nobody else was going through my same struggles to be small.  What I realize now is, I was small.  I have been a size small all my life, but the constant pressure has changed my physique.  After watching, counting, and purging everything I ate, I became paranoid and instead started gaining weight.

Since I am a cheerleader this was especially tough.  Part of the sport is being thin, so it is easy to tumble and stunt.  When i gained 15 pounds in a matter of months I went into a severe depression.  Thankfully after support from friends I have overcome my disease and am regaining a HEALTHY weight.

It’s causes like these that help people like me.  I am so thankful for this, because this could save someone’s life.  I have wanted to design clothing with a good cause like this for a future career and am now even more motivated to do so.

Thank you all,
Megan

Once a struggle, now a healthy community

Posted by courtney – February 4, 2010

TMOOH,

I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for being a shining light in an industry saturated with harmful messages and innuendos. You have taken a stand against a monster of a problem in our world today, and I applaud you for that.

I along with millions of girls have at one point in my life struggled with my own body image. We live in a society where priority and importance lies in how we are perceived on the outside. I was quickly influenced by society’s narrow definition of beauty and found myself overwhelmed with high expectations and impossible goals. I felt my life was spinning out of control and I turned to an eating disorder to give me a false sense of control over my body and situation. I struggled with this eating disorder for over a year, and it accomplished absolutely nothing other than rob me from valuable time that I could have spent loving myself and working on productive ways to become a better person. Years have passed since that period in my life and I am constantly reminded of it because of the unfortunate popularity of the issue amongst young people today.

TMOOH, you have created a safe haven for those struggling with self love, insecurity, and body image issues. Not only are you creating products that promote healthy body image, but you have also built a community of people that are there to support each other and help carry this burden we all struggle with at some point in our lives. You are doing amazing things and are changing this world for the better every day that goes by.

There is nothing more rewarding and fulfilling in life than to truly understand that we were wonderfully made. Love yourself for who you are and what you will become and everything else will fall into place.

Always,
Me

Anna’s story, happy keeping herself healthy and fit

Posted by courtney – January 27, 2010

Hello TMOOH,

I just wanted to commend you for your focus on healthy body image. The unhealthy images our society portrays not only influences what we women unrealistically expect for ourselves, but also what many men view as attractive in return. Bringing more healthy/realistic body images to the forefront helps us all find better balance and encourages us to find a healthy middle ground to live in.

I have spent my life as the epitome of ‘big boned’ – tall, broad shouldered and big footed – which led to years of struggling with my body image. Although, in some ways I consider myself lucky. Though I severely struggled with body image in my teens and early 20s, I was finally able to come to terms with my body. The ‘American ideal’ is physically impossible for me, and so I’m happy with keeping myself healthy and fit. Moderate exercise and healthy eating makes my life pretty good, and I feel good about myself even if I still fall into the ‘plus size’ category. Many of my thinner friends still struggle with scales and strict exercise and diet regimes – in that I’m lucky, I get to have a healthy relationship with those and my body, I’m ok with me as me.

Thanks again for having such a wonderful mission.

Sincerely,
Anna

Monika’s story, I wanted to be normal

Posted by courtney – January 20, 2010



I am very inspired by the vision of TMOOH. It’s so refreshing to see a clothing brand that promotes positive body image rather than the distorted view of beauty that we are constantly bombarded with by the media. The thing that no one realizes is that as long as you have a healthy body, you should be happy there. Yes, being obese can be unhealthy, but so can being too skinny.

I never had an eating disorder, never gone on a diet, or tried to lose weight in any way. I’ve always had a high metabolism, and especially when I was younger, I was tall, but skinny. People often asked if I had an eating disorder, and even though I was healthy, it really bothered me. I wanted to be normal. I subconsciously started eating a lot more, especially junk food. I was trying to gain weight. As far as weight goes, nothing changed, but I felt a lot more unhealthy. Over time I realized that even though I’m thin, I’m also healthy, and I am completely okay with the way I am. God created me this way and I shouldn’t try to change it through unhealthy means. I feel great about my body, and I hope that TMOOH can spread positive body image all over.

Thanks for impacting people!

-Monika