Content On Your Own

Posted by – February 8, 2010


Oh, the beloved fourteenth of February,

So many eagerly await your arrival after fond memories from years past.  How can we forget the way you effortlessly bring so many couples closer together, how you help out friendly card companies, florists, and chocolatiers during an economic downturn, and, of course, how you so kindly remind the majority of us that we are without a special someone.  Thank you for the reminder.  This year shall be another without a formal date and you know what? I am totally fine with the situation.

I’ve seen something recently in many relationships, that I am certainly not immune to, which is our desire to validate our own worth in the soul of another.  Simply, we feel content and complete when we are in a relationship but the minute that it is over we freak out and feel incomplete.  Now, I can’t necessarily hypothesize or diagnose why this is, but I believe it comes down to idea of self-love.  If you don’t truly love yourself and feel content being single, it will be difficult to facilitate a healthy and functional relationship with another person.  In relationships, we can often find ourselves unsettled or unhappy, attempting to fill a void that is far deeper than another person could possibly fill.

So, my friends, if you feel alone, incomplete, or inadequate because you may not have a significant other, take time to reflect upon your life.  Inquire within as to why those feelings arise and make necessary steps to address the deeper issues that exist. For each of us this will appear differently.  Learn to love yourself.  Feel content with your present situation, resolving that you don’t need to validate your worth through another person.  When that happens, you will be able to approach relationships that come your way with a healthy frame of mind, finding a deeper sense of joy and contentment that may never previously unveiled itself.

With Contentment,

Brett

18 Comments on Content On Your Own

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  1. Ally says:

    Excellent post! This is so true. Keep it coming.

  2. Diana says:

    Well said Brett!!
    Words to the wise!!

  3. Austin says:

    Well said, dude. Very insightful and well written.

  4. Alan Clark says:

    All I can say is beautiful.

  5. Mollie says:

    I couldn’t agree more.

  6. Miss Jones says:

    Beautifully and eloquently written Brett… a perfect reminder that February 14th, rather than be a glaring reminder of one’s singleness, can serve as a reminder of our ability to validate and love ourselves. Who cares if I’m buying myself chocolates, pink lilies and a bottle of perfectly aged port this year?! So what you’re saying is I got the best date in town with… myself! hahaha:)

  7. MollyFaraday says:

    You have no idea how parallel this post is to my own beliefs. Valentines Day so commercial and quite fake. Some people just need to feel like they can be “extra loved” one day out of the year. I prefer to spend it with people who are there for me 365 days a year.

  8. MG says:

    well said

    just wanted to link an entry i had last year that irked some memories from ur blog just now… some of the terms are in filipino but i think you’d get the jist of it

  9. Laura says:

    thanks for this…it was exactly what i needed to hear.

  10. Harry says:

    well said Brett – thanks!

  11. Chris says:

    I agree Brett. Single well translates to Dating well translates to Married well.

  12. Mosum says:

    your comment made my Valentine’s Day the best it could ever be, thanks!

  13. Becca says:

    Have I mentioned that I love you? haha. This is great and so true <3

  14. Crystal says:

    well written.

  15. Amy says:

    well said

    just wanted to link an entry i had last year that irked some memories from ur blog just now… some of the terms are in filipino but i think you’d get the jist of it

  16. Sharron Clemons says:

    well said Brett – thanks!

  17. Coleen Sosa says:

    You have no idea how parallel this post is to my own beliefs. Valentines Day so commercial and quite fake. Some people just need to feel like they can be “extra loved” one day out of the year. I prefer to spend it with people who are there for me 365 days a year.

  18. well said Brett – thanks!

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